Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner (TGIF)'s LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
2:41 am	Latest addition to the endangered species list: the busy signal It just struck me today how long it's been since the last time I've heard a busy signal. Between call waiting, voice mail, call hunting, etc., I can't recall the last time a phone basically told me "I'm busy now. Go away and try again later." What has happened to us that we have to be so constantly in touch that we can't allow for the possibility of missing someone's attempt to get in touch with us? I remember when cell phones first came out, and my employer wanting to get me one. I absolutely wanted to have nothing to do with it. It didn't take too many brains to anticipate how it would be used to intrude on what little free time I might have during the day, and certainly would be used to chase me down during my personal time for so-called "business reasons" that really didn't justify interrupting me outside of work hours. In the end I was tagged with a pager (do they even exist anymore?), which while intrusive, people somehow were less inclined to call than a cell phone. How times have changed! Nowadays, if I am parted from my cell phone for more than a few minutes I start to get anxious that I might be missing an important call or text message. So far I have drawn the line and not turned on constant internet access from the phone, but I suspect that given the right device that even this final barrier to needing to be constantly connected will finally fall. I think I could survive the withdrawal of going into deep woods where no signal could reach me. I'm not so sure about many of the younger generation if they were put into that same situation. Current Mood: amused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
1:30 am	Apologies Sorry for dumping all of my frustration onto the net yesterday. The week had just had too many things pile up on me at once, between doctors with bad news and a lot of stress in getting reading for the arrival of my daughter, son-in-law and four grand children for a month. I'm afraid that I needed a good cry, and that rant was the closest I could allow myself. Thanks everyone for your understanding. Hopefully I'll have lots of good news and photos to share next week once everyone is here and things have, G-d willing, calmed down a bit. Current Mood: resigned (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
12:46 am	Things that bother me. Things have been very tough the last several years. And at this point I'm not sure what bothers me most. Is it doctors who seem to take more delight in telling me how little time I have left to live instead of helping me fight and stretch to make the best possible odds in my favor? Or better yet, when I beat their predictions of when I should have died, they manage to find yet another serious health issue that will kill me in a few years even if I manage to continue to miraculously survive the first condition? Or I find a webcomic or online story that manages to help distract me from my constant intense pain, or even better manages to lift my mood (which for some strange reason is often depressed, despite my best efforts to fight it off), and don't you know, but it's guaranteed that the better it is and the more enjoyment I'm getting from it, the more likely it is going to reach a high point in the story only to never update again. Or is it friends and family that tell me that I should be satisfied with what I have and with what I am able to do, that I should be thankful that things aren't worse. Or, strange as it seems after the last paragraph, is it friends and family who come along - generally when I am doing my poorest - and tell me I should be trying to do more. I wouldn't mind this too much, except the ideas they come up with are so fantastically beyond what I could ever possibly do that it shows a total lack of understanding of my limitations. I hate people expecting too little from me, as if I was totally incapable of doing anything, but at the same time I feel crushed if they expect way too much from me. (I don't mind people expecting a reasonable amount too much, just such an extravagant amount that it shows a lack of understanding of my limitations). And what bothers me most is having a body, memory and mind that no longer enable me to do all of the things that I would like to do. Current Mood: ready to give up (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
11:23 pm	MRI/MRA and other medical results For the first time, in addition to the mitochondrial related strokes from my MELAS, I now have vascular problems too. One of the major arteries in the neck supplying the brain is totally blocked. If it wasn't a twinned artery I wouldn't be here typing this. Not only am I now in essence having to live off of a spare, but I am at risk of severe vascular stroke if something breaks off of the blockage. My homocysteine level is through the roof, putting me at risk of both stroke and Alzheimer's. Normally levels this high aren't seen unless there is a specific genetic mutation. Since I do not have this mutation the doctors are at a loss to explain why my homocysteine levels are so high. I am starting medication to try and bring this down. Other things are out of whack too. For example, despite being on a high level of prescription vitamin D supplementation, my blood level of vitamin D has again become inexplicably very low. The summary from the doctors was pretty grim. I had to remind them yet again that their job is to act as a conduit to bring G-d's healing into the world and not to act as prophets trying to predict the future. But it is getting harder and harder to not give up. Current Mood: sad (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 24th, 2009
12:38 pm	End of an era My wife has put her foot down and is making me face up to the reality that I am not going to be returning to software development in the foreseeable future. So it's time to clean out my office. I'm donating about 150 programming related books to the college that I used to teach at, and clearing out a huge amount of outdated computers and spare parts that I don't really need any more, since I no longer am actively involved in fixing PCs for people in the community. By the time I'm done (and this will take me a while), I will have emptied out about one and a half rooms. It feels like I'm throwing out an old friend. :-( But I guess it's time to face up to reality and move forward. And we need the room for the grandchildren when they visit this summer! :-) Current Mood: mixed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 14th, 2009
11:19 am	Who am I? Normally I don't do these online quizzes, but the geek in me was really curious to find out who I'd be scored as. I had to disagree with the "romantic relationships" part though. I've only ever had one, and thank G-d it continues to be great! Your results: You are Geordi LaForge Geordi LaForge 75% Spock 62% Jean-Luc Picard 60% Beverly Crusher 60% Data 53% Worf 50% Chekov 40% Uhura 40% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 40% James T. Kirk (Captain) 35% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 35% Mr. Scott 35% Will Riker 30% Deanna Troi 30% Mr. Sulu 20% You work well with others and often fix problems quickly. Your romantic relationships are often bungled. Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 11th, 2009
1:34 am	Some (delayed) pictures from our trip to Australia For those who are interested, a few pictures from my trip to Australia ( Pictures behind the cut... ) Current Mood: nostalgic (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 10th, 2009
1:23 am	And the beat goes on... Several months before the first of my strokes, the company that I was working for, SDRC, was purchased by EDS. At the time we were told, in writing, that all of our benefits, including long term disability, would continue uninterrupted. Due to an oversight when listing previous policy numbers in the new disability insurance contract, this turned out not to be the case, leaving me without LTD coverage since I left before being on the new policy for a full year. The case against EDS for breach of contract has been winding through the courts for years now. I just found out that the US Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit has rejected my case, since the Federal ERISA laws which control LTD insurance override state laws even on issues of breach of contract. Thank G-d for Social Security Disability, or I would long since have been living in a box under an overpass. I guess with everything else that is going on in my life, I'm already so wet that I can't get any wetter. In other words, yeah, this is bad news, but at this point it's insignificant compared to what else is going on. What we need is a Federal law mandating seamless transition of all benefits just like that mandated seamless transition of health insurance benefits. Feel free to write your congressman and senator if you feel motivated. Current Mood: weary (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 7th, 2009
10:50 pm	Update... I saw the neurologist today. It turns out that he is as worried by the numbness spreading to my tongue for the first time as he is worried by its spreading to my left side. As I understand it, this implies that the damage has not only crossed hemispheres, but is also spreading deeper into the brain. He is also concerned that if indeed my hearing symptoms are related to my neurological damage, I am at significant risk of going deaf as this progresses. I am scheduled for MRI and MRA scans Monday evening, May 18th. Your prayers will be greatly appreciated. Current Mood: resigned (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
3:11 pm	I knew this was coming... I knew that my MELAS would continue to take more and more functionality away from me as I suffer further brain damage. Regretfully I have passed a milestone that I have been dreading. Last weekend I had yet another mini-stroke. Unlike all of my past episodes which have only affected my right side, this one has left my left side severely numb, so now my entire body is permanently in a state of pins-and-needles and greatly reduced sensation. All this is in addition to my permanent severe headache from my prior strokes. As a bonus, as of this weekend I am also now having impact on my hearing. It's as if someone turned the treble all the way up on what I hear, and also I have a very loud ringing in both ears (but louder on the left). I have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow, but it's more for his logging the progress of my deterioration, measuring how much more strength I've lost, etc., since there is nothing more that he can do to treat or even to slow down the progression of this disease. It's long since reached the point that the only reason I keep living is because I am obligated to, and not because I desire to. This just makes things all the more grimmer. Your prayers for Simcha Yitzchak son of Zeeslah Chanah will be greatly appreciated. Current Mood: depressed (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
10:28 am	Hello from tomorrow in the land of Oz I've been in Australia for a week so far. Other than breaking a crown in half while over the Pacific, the trip here was uneventful. Preparing for Passover has been hectic, but we are in the final stretch now. Wednesday morning we celebrate a once in 28 year event - the blessing of the sun. This is when the position of the sun in the sky corresponds to its position at the time of its creation. There is going to be a broadcast of a variety of worldwide events in celebration of the moment. Here is Brisbane we will be broadcasting Wednesday 7AM local, which is Tuesday 5PM EDT. You can see us then at this web site (along with other locations later in the evening and into the morning). Even though it is Fall here down under, I have been melting from the heat. For those who don't know, Brisbane is the penal colony that convicts sent to Australia were sent to if they committed more crimes in Australia. In other words, I'm spending Passover in a penal colony's penal colony! Wishing everyone a kosher and joyous Passover! Current Mood: excited (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
5:08 pm	Today's words of wisdom... From an ancient Tonight Show with Johnny Carson: "Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?" Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Friday, March 13th, 2009
2:20 am	MAZEL TOV! I am pleased to announce the engagement of my oldest son, Rabbi Dovid Lerner, to Esther Faige Mushka Kurinsky of Crown Heights, Brooklyn, NY. Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Klezmer wedding band (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2009
10:30 pm	Triple play I am currently in Florida with three sick family members: My father, who is recovering from a five hour operation on his arm where they rerouted veins and arteries in preparation for dialysis My mother, who spent last night in the ER due to a massive out-of-control nose bleed (it was flowing like a faucet) My great-aunt, who was admitted to the hospital yesterday due to a fall that has injured her back So as strange as it seems, I'm the "healthy" one who is taking care of everyone else. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
8:18 pm	Latest photo of my oldest daughter and grandsons As you can easily figure out, they live in Australia, so I don't get to see them too often. However, G-d willing, my wife and I will be spending Passover with them this year! Current Mood: happy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
11:33 am	Goodbye Detroit No, I'm not leaving the Detroit area. I'm saying goodbye to the US auto industry. ( Here are the details of why I am writing this now... ) I grew up in New England, which is dotted with towns that used to be major manufacturing centers in the late 19th and early 20th century. Back then, many of these towns had nothing left except for some run down residential neighborhoods where people commuted to other cities to work. If they were lucky, the factory buildings were gone and there were huge empty tracts of land. Most instead had abandoned factory buildings and warehouses slowly falling apart. The only difference between what I grew up with and what Detroit may end up becoming is that there are no other jobs for people to commute to once the auto industry is gone. Current Mood: pessimistic (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
5:53 pm	Steve Martin as The Great Flydini This clip is making the e-mail rounds and I thought I'd share it with everyone. It features Steve Martin appearing as "The Great Flydini" on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. What I like about this clip is that it hearkens back to a time when "adult" humor didn't have to stoop to vulgarity or worse in order to be funny. Enjoy... Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
1:04 pm	Living in exponential times... Current Mood: geeky (Comment on this)
Monday, January 19th, 2009
9:50 pm	An odd type of good news I just realized that for the first time in over a decade, we've managed to get through the skunk breeding season without our house getting sprayed repeatedly. In fact, thank G-d we haven't been sprayed even once. They still live in the area and keep wandering through my yard, but they no longer have a place next to my house to live, since we installed a rat fence around the back deck and rebuilt the front porch. The only bright side to this extended experience is that I've become an expert on skunks (both wild and domesticated) - for whatever that's worth. Current Mood: surprised (Comment on this)
Friday, January 9th, 2009
1:45 pm	How to get a good deal on a car One thing I've learned from my son's new job: if you want a bargain on a car, buy it from a repo lot. Unlike most car auctions, where the cars are there because they no longer were wanted (and probably have some problems), repossessed cars were in active use and probably have little wrong with them. While many repo yards hold auctions, sometimes you can show up on a day that they aren't having an auction and buy a car (or RV or boat) for the unpaid balance that was owed to the bank - which often can be much less than the blue book value. The only thing to be careful of when buying a repossessed car is to make sure that the transmission wasn't damaged by their having to tow it from the "wrong end". (You are supposed to tow a car by the drive wheels, but sometimes when repossessing a car they can't get access to that end of the car and have to tow it from the wrong side, dragging the locked drive tires and sometimes damaging the transmission.) Otherwise, if you know what you are looking for and the actual value, you can often find a great deal at repo yards. Current Mood: busy (Comment on this)